Finding a compatible partner to share your life with is one of the most important decisions a person can make. While physical attraction and chemistry are part of the equation, several other key factors contribute to long-term relationship success. Hence, matchmakers should consider these different factors when pairing up potential partners.
By evaluating compatibility across multiple dimensions, matchmakers can set up singles for a happier, healthier partnership built on a solid foundation. Read on to learn more about the factors you should consider in matchmaking.
1. Communication Styles
How a couple communicates with each other affects every aspect of the relationship. Thus, matchmakers should look for pairs with similar communication styles to avoid miscommunications and needless conflicts. For example, pairing up an extrovert who prefers frequent conversation with an introvert who needs more quiet time is likely to cause issues.
Furthermore, matching someone who is very direct and blunt with a compassionate partner could lead to hurt feelings. Partners can communicate differently, but their styles should complement each other. When communication styles are aligned, couples are more likely to be satisfied and content. Thoughtful matchmaking takes communication dynamics into account for better pairing.
This sets the foundation for a relationship characterized by mutual understanding and meaningful connection.
2. Goals and Aspirations
Another critical area of compatibility is around significant life goals and aspirations. Partners who want the same things out of life are more likely to grow together than apart. Important factors matchmakers should discuss with singles include a desire to get married and have children, career ambitions, where they want to live, how much they value travel, etc.
Furthermore, couples don’t need to want precisely the same futures, but if their goals are radically different or incompatible, it often leads to tension and resentment. Matching people who share priorities and want the same things out of the relationship sets them up for success.
3. Interpersonal Skills
Specific interpersonal skills contribute to healthy, stable relationships, like being a good listener, showing empathy, managing conflict well, being responsible, etc. Matchmakers should look for singles who exhibit these skills as they are likely to translate into being a caring, attentive partner. Individuals who are selfish, irresponsible, combative, etc., often struggle with maintaining positive relationships. Compatibility around interpersonal strengths helps couples through tough times and strengthens the partnership.
Moreover, partners with good interpersonal skills can communicate their feelings, understand each other’s perspectives, compromise when needed, and resolve conflicts healthily. This prevents minor issues from spiralling into big problems. Matching those with poor social skills often leads to relationships riddled with fights, misunderstandings, resentment and emotional distance. Evaluating interpersonal compatibility sets couples up to handle life’s ups and downs.
4. Personality Traits
While opposites attract in some cases, partners with similar personalities tend to experience less conflict. Matchmakers should look for common ground in the big five personality traits – openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. For example, pairing up two very meticulous, organized people who score high in conscientiousness is better than matching one meticulous person with a messy, disorganized partner. Also, two introverts will likely understand each other better than an introvert paired with a loud, boisterous extrovert. Similar personalities don’t mean identical, but some shared traits help.
Additionally, having overlapping personality traits enables partners to see eye-to-eye on many issues and approach problems similarly. This provides a solid basis for building a strong companionship, intimacy and mutual understanding. Partners with clashing personality styles often encounter more misunderstandings and frustration with each other’s natural tendencies and behaviors.
5. Values
Compatibility around core values and beliefs is crucial for long-term happiness. Partners can agree on some things, but sharing common values provides a strong foundation. Matchmakers should look for alignment around essential areas like religion, politics, social issues, morality, family, etc. Couples on the same page value-wise avoid major ideological conflicts, while those who differ significantly in their worldviews often clash. Respecting each other’s perspectives is also crucial. However, having some shared values makes navigating differences easier.
In addition, partners who share values and beliefs are united by a common purpose and vision for their lives. This promotes bonding, teamwork and mutual growth. However, when couples have fundamentally incompatible values, it often leads to contempt, defensiveness and wedge issues that strain the relationship over time.
6. Attachment Style
Attachment theory provides a useful framework for matchmakers. Attachment styles – secure, anxious, avoidant – affect how people behave in relationships. Matchmakers should aim to pair individuals with secure attachment or complementary styles (secure with anxious or avoidant). Two anxious or avoidant people will likely struggle. However, someone who is stable and supportive can be grounding for an insecure partner. Understanding attachment provides insight into compatibility on a deep level.
When two partners have insecure attachment styles, it often creates relationship patterns that reinforce each other’s fears and insecurities. However, a securely attached partner can provide the care and reassurance an anxious or avoidant partner needs to develop a secure bond. Matchmakers should keep attachment dynamics in mind for stable long-term matching.
Final Thoughts
While making matches based purely on superficial traits like age or attractiveness may grab attention initially, focusing on deeper compatibility leads to more fulfilling long-term partnerships. Furthermore, evaluating communication styles and other fundamental factors will enable matchmakers to create connections that stand the test of time. Moreover, thoughtful matching focused on true compatibility gives singles the best chance of finding lasting love.
